Relationships & Periods
With Valentine’s day in the air this week, we thought we’d take the opportunity to ask people about their periods and relationships! Awkward...? Essential...? Normal? Let’s find out! And as always, please feel free to comment with your experiences too below..
Personally, I dislike talking about periods to a partner, as much I dislike having a period! Luckily, our respondents are a bit more mature that me... Faye, a lifestyle editor, said “it’s completely normal and if they have a bad reaction, they’re the weird ones!” Similarly, Izzy, a student & environmentalist said that “healthy relationships require good communication and that includes about periods!” Maja, a yoga teacher, also made a great point that “if your partner has a sister then chances are he will know all about the subject and won't mind talking about it at all.”
Having clear, open conversations seems the main theme. If they’re already normalised to the practicalities and experience of periods from sisters (or exes!), then it can make things easier.
“if your partner has a sister then chances are he will know all about the subject and won't mind talking about it at all.”
Period Talk with Partner
Whether someone needs to rush out to get chocolate and/or pads, or you both get into a fight whilst hormones flood your body, and then the next day you’re like... “oh, wait sorry it was just my period!”... it’s likely periods affect our relationships! Hormones associated with periods can affect our moods, increase our insecurities or make us more irritable - plus there are the practicalities and pain of managing a period. Partners can be supportive during our periods, so letting them know what’s going on with us can be helpful!
Maja said her partner “knows they are painful and he knows how to help me or make me feel more comfortable.” She also said when she unexpectedly came on soon after dating, he popped out to get pads. Faye says she’s a lot more irritated by her partners habits a few days before she’s due on, but when it comes to PMS - “a hot water bottle and some chocolate usually does the trick!”Space from each other can also be good: “I would be in a lot of pain for the first day as well as hot flushed so I tended to like being left alone, that's the main coping strategy, for me to have some space and rest the first day.” - Izzy.
However, not all partners are as understanding. Lauren, currently travelling, said “one time I was crawling around, vomiting in pain from my period, and my ex wouldn’t go to buy pads because he thought people would judge him.” This is so sad that a guy’s more worried about his image than his partner! But maybe something more common?
The more aware you and your partner are about PMS and your period, then hopefully you can both understand what’s going on and help find ways to improve the monthly experience all round!
Rachel Bloom from Crazy ex-girlfriend says continuing use of period puns in these comments as they bring her and everyone else on "Crazy Ex-Girlfriend" great joy.
Period Sex
Generally, people weren’t keen on having sex on the first few days of a period, when their flow was heaviest and they felt worst. After then, it was an option for some couples. Maja said “as my flow gets lighter and the pain subsides, we do sometimes get carried away and end up having sex. I get a little self conscious but he totally doesn't mind.”
Izzy has this great tip - have “shower sex because it doesn't make a mess”! So basically, whatever is most comfortable for both of you.
Do you also know there is a song called "Period Sex"?
Any advice for talking about periods in a relationship?
Lauren suggested “Get down to the basics of what it is and why it hurt so much. He didn’t know that. Now I’ve told him, he’s more sympathetic. And I think that makes it easier.” Education around periods isn’t always as clear for men as it is for women, so we love this advice.
Maja also said that “some men are more freaked out by periods that others”, but we like her suggestion of how to tackle the issue: “if you come across as confident when opening up the subject he is more likely to open up to the idea of talking about lady parts and periods. So own your womanhood and the rest will fall into place.”
Female empowerment is good with us! Maybe I’ll take some of Maja’s advice for the future. :)
We want to talk about the most important love of all - the one that we so often forget about and ignore. The one that needs our attention and concern more than all other loves. We want to talk about loving yourself and it starts with self-care. After all, we are always looking after others, thinking about what they need, what will make them happy, buying them lovely things...so we think that on this Galentines Day you should give yourself the gfit that will love you back every month!
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WUKA is a way to tell your body how much you care for it; that you want to protect and look after yourself, month after month. Look after your body - and your body will thank you
Give yourself the gift that will love you back every month!
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Final Thoughts
We hope you feel more comfortable about discussing periods with a partner, if you didn’t already. Hopefully by understanding yourself, and having good communications and coping strategies with your partner, can make managing your period & PMS easier - for you both! Then perhaps you can snuggle up with some chocolate and Netflix.. and who knows, maybe you’ll both end up in the shower. ;)
For now au revoir
Nell x
